Gnome-mania

I headed off to Virginia with every intention of taking lots of pictures of the old hometown to upload here, but alas! There is never enough time.

Aside from the nightmare of getting to Waynesboro (due to thunderstorms in Chicago, travel times stretched from about six hours from door to door to sixteen hours, and then some), the trip was great fun. I got to spend time with my mom. We went to dinner a few times, both alone and with my brother. We had lunch with my best pals Barb and Beth and their mom. We went antiquing (I purchased loads of cool, vibrant old linen post cards, which I may one day get around to scanning and posting here) at the Factory Antique Mall in Verona, and we went book shopping with my old friend and classmate Leanne Skelton at the Green Valley Book Fair near Mount Crawford. I attended a bonfire and weenie roast at Barb and her husband Charlie's place, where I met a couple who were on their way to Marfa the next week to take in the world famous Marfa Lights Festival. Small world, huh? I watched the Emmys for the first time in years and years at Beth and her sweetie Cortney's place--Barry Manilow trumps Stephen Colbert? What is this world coming to? I took in the hilarious film Little Miss Sunshine at the newly restored Visulite Theater in Staunton. I met a friend in person with whom I've engaged in many a hearty conversation on a message board--she lives in Charlottesville, and she is as gracious and funny and kind in real life as she is online. In short, I had a blast. But I didn't take one picture of any of the above.

HOWEVER...

On Monday, Barb and I drove up to Harrisonburg to a purveyor of concrete garden statuary, and I DID bring my camera. So here we go:

The name of the place was Harper's, I think, and it had quite the array of painted and unpainted plaster geegaws. I'm not sure why I failed to snap the row on row of overstocked Easter Island heads... but I did manage to capture Barb with this panoply of garden gnomes:



Now, I want everyone to see the incredible detail on these gnomes. First, there is the ever popular gnome with bunny:



Then there are the jolly lantern gnomes. Note the bizarre variation on the fig leaf motif, even though both our boys are wearing trousers--or at least tights:



Last, but certainly not least on the gnome shelves, I offer you a few variations on the recumbent gnome and a gnome with a bottle, well on his way to becoming recumbent. And, as a lagniappe, I present you with a beautifully sculpted pair of buttocks de cherub, mooning elegantly in the background. Oh, la-la!



What roadside statuary emporium would be complete without creepy cherubs



And ubiquitous racist stereotypes?



I know it's hard to believe and horrid to imagine that someone would actually purchase something like that to adorn a garden or yard (and, yes, they had lawn jockeys too, but at least the majority of those were painted white), but if several were on display, you know that there is some kind of a market for them. Sigh. I mean, the one on the far left was even painted with pointy teeth! Oy.

While there's no way I'd put a statue of a little watermelon-eating kid--black or white--in my balcony garden, even sarcastically, I might be persuaded to plant a gnome or even a garishly painted, demonically staring cherub among the pots. Or an Easter Island head. Yep. That's the ticket. I only wish they had sold those hats and the huge eyes the originals wore as well.

Sorry, guys, that I didn't take snaps of the mountains, the main street, the locals, the bonfire, the Visulite, etc., etc., but I'm returning to the "big W" in October for a high school reunion. Maybe I'll get around to it then.